I knew the universe wouldn’t let me down!!!
Wow what a few days it’s been. Mr Burke’s been all over the news and not for something good like The Kardashians. Lucy says he’s lucky he never had that plastic surgery because you don’t want to be looking too pretty in jail. Sharon thought she was responsible for his arrest at first because she’d forwarded his email to the greater Leinster area. But then his bookie Reggie started doing all these interviews about dubbing him in to the gardai, so that made her feel a lot better. Especially when she saw ‘the state of him’ on the Late Late Show. Poor Mr Burke. He told Lucy if he’d known it was to be his last flight for a while, No way he would have flown Ryanair. He’s now looking for a really good solicitor preferably one with off-shore bank account experience. He’s remaining upbeat about the whole thing which Lucy thinks is a sign he’s having a nervous breakdown but I just think he’s trying to be positive. I’ve brought a few posters with affirmations for him. One says ‘Instead of thinking outside the box, get rid of the box’ and the other says ‘You are confined only by the walls you build yourself’. Though I’m thinking I may not give him that second poster.
I started to pack all my lovely new clothes today. Can’t believe it’s come to this. Well at leased I’ll be the best dressed lady in Shayong. Derek came round and offered me the help of his twelve year old nephew for moving if I needed it. He would have helped me himself but he has a long term back injury from when he worked on a building site for a week. I was fine anyway. The Cadbury’s man is moving in over the weekend so I’m going to stay on Lucy’s sofa until I can afford a flight home. But at leased things are looking up for the girls. Sharon’s boyfriend has promised if he ever leaves his wife, She will be his first choice for wife number three. Sharon reckons it would be three times the charm. Whereas Lucy has enrolled in a beauty course. She figured recession or no recession there will always be dog ugly hairy women about. Plus she really likes the pink uniform. Oh and Mr Burke finally contacted us except he’s now using the name SexyDurke42. He emailed Sharon and asked her to look up the best plastic surgeons in the area and to erase all traces of the email. Lucy thinks he’ll need full on reconstructive surgery to disguise his ugly mug and would a Bo’ selecta mask not be cheaper. The girls took me out for chocolate cake to cheer me up. I’m really going to miss them when I go.
This is the last time Lucy listens to a love guru off Oprah for advice!
Things might be looking up if a gentleman named ‘Rasher’ has anything to do with it